Not a significant source of riboflavin.

Unprecedented Times


If you have anxiety, then don’t read this post until after January 1, 2022.

Seriously, don’t read it. You’re dealing with enough shit already.

This is your last warning!

Still here? Okay then.

It’s safe to say that Trump accomplished his objective as president.

He came into the government swinging and shook things up. He actively dismantled the institutions that he disliked, and he undermined anybody who raised even the slightest concern. He punched all of those mean politicians in the nose, and he told all the so-called “experts” to shut the fuck up.

His followers cheered for him every step of the way.

For the rest of us, Trump’s entire presidency has been a rollercoaster that we have been strapped into unwillingly. We’ve been careening over hills and around corners, screaming in horror as Trump continued to dismantle the track. By 2020, the rollercoaster was already shaking violently.

Yet, most of Trump’s followers continued to cheer for him. They insisted that he was making the rollercoaster better! The screaming passengers were just a bunch of Never-Trumpers™ who hated America and Trump and freeeeeeeeedoooooooooooom!!

“Remove the brakes!” they demanded. “Government regulations just slow businesses down!”

“Remove the guardrails!” they demanded. “Oversight committees are just a waste of taxpayer money!”

“Remove the seatbelts!” they demanded. “Healthcare is just a penalty for being healthy!”

Then Trump was diagnosed with Covid-19, and the rollercoaster completely derailed.

We are currently all upside down and experiencing zero-G. Many of Trump’s followers are still cheering, although a few are beginning to sense that something is wrong.

Time has slowed down to a crawl.

Maybe the rollercoaster will land safely in some nearby trees. Maybe it will smash directly into the pavement. At this point, it’s impossible to say exactly where we’ll end up or in what condition. We just know that it’s far too late to do anything except hold on for dear life.

Time has frozen. Let’s assess this moment.


Under normal circumstances, our nation would not be in crisis. Having a President diagnosed with a potentially-fatal illness would still be a tragedy, but the worst-case outcome would still be knowable. The Vice President would become the President, and our nation would remain strong. Regardless of this outcome, an election would still occur on November 3rd. At its conclusion, we would know who would serve as President for the next 4 years.

Why is 2020 different?

In short, our nation is undergoing a severe schizophrenic episode.

Many of Trump’s followers legitimately believe that he was chosen by God to rid the world of abortion. The Democrats are all baby-murdering demons, and Liberalism is a Satanic blight that is infecting the souls of God-fearing Christians.

Others believe that ANTIFA is a terrorist organization that is actively dismantling the United States. Black Lives Matter was invented by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other deep-state operatives to create anarchy, dislodge capitalism, and implant socialism.

Still others believe that the Coronavirus is a biological weapon that was manufactured in a Chinese lab, and the United States government is spreading it across the entire country using drones. It’s all part of an elaborate campaign to force people to wear masks, thus robbing them of their free will. But, the enlightened few understand that the Coronavirus is a hoax.

We’ve. Gone. Fucking. NUTS.

And Trump is the Pied Piper of our insanity.

He convinced his followers that the demons they dreamed up were real. He encouraged conspiratorial thinking, and he rebranded their “misguided notions” as “enlightenment”. He glorified their ignorance as justification for tearing down institutions. He fed their paranoia with his own dementia, and he fanned the flames of their fear.

“They’re out to get me!” he insisted. “The election has already been compromised!”

He writhed on the floor. “Fraud! Fraud! Fraud! It’s all fraud!”

His followers writhed on the floor. “Fraud! Fraud! Fraud! It’s all fraud!”

Trump bolted to his feet. “You can’t let them steal the election! You can’t allow them to undermine God’s Will and condemn America’s soul! You can’t! You can’t! You can’t!”

“We can’t! We can’t! We can’t!” his followers shrieked.

And then Trump boarded a helicopter to be treated for Coronavirus at Walter Reed. His followers continue shrieking despite his absence.

What will happen?

Trump demolished many of our governmental safeguards, and he tormented his followers into a frenzy. What’s the worst that could happen?

I have no idea! But, I can at least speculate about some possible outcomes!

As I type this, news is breaking that several other prominent Republicans have also been diagnosed with Covid-19. Many of them attended presidential campaign events, and they actively refused to wear masks or practice social distancing. Seems pretty easy to connect the dots, right?

Well, not to the conspiracy theorists, apparently.

Twitter accounts are pointing out that very few Democrats have been infected, and they are insinuating that foul play occurred. They haven’t been able to piece it all together yet, but… surely it was foul play!

… I doubt that these sparks of conspiratorial thinking will ignite into anything serious…

… but, that could change very quickly if Trump died a painful death.

I mean, there was the election coming up! The Democrats knew they couldn’t win, so they resorted to sabotage instead! It’s just the sort of thing those demon hellspawn would do! But, we can’t let the Devil win! We will insist that the election needs to be canceled because Mike Pence is God’s new chosen one!

As crazy as this sounds, I think there’s a moderate chance that a sizable portion of the population would believe this, or something very similar. However, I doubt that it would be enough to disrupt the upcoming election. Still, it could also galvanize people into voting for Mike Pence, which could cause the Republicans to win the election.

Oh well. I doubt that Pence will torment people into a frenzy like Trump did. Maybe this is exactly what the country needs in order to regain its sensibility?

… alternatively, Trump could die a painful death, and it could shock people back into reality.

Oh shit — the Coronavirus wasn’t a hoax! Dr. Fauci was right about masks and social distancing! Perhaps we should listen to these so-called “experts” after all! Wearing a mask isn’t that hard, and it could save countless lives!

Sigh… I doubt people would actually react in this way. People might take things a bit more seriously, but I doubt that they’d immediately regain their trust in experts.

The election could go either way.

… Trump could only experience very minor symptoms and recover very quickly! “It ain’t the flu, losers!” becomes his new battle cry.

The anti-maskers all upgrade from “irritating” to “really-fucking-irritating”. In addition to being loud and obnoxious, they also start tearing peoples’ masks off and ripping them to shreds. These displays of “bravado” rekindle the enthusiasm of Trump’s former followers. This crescendos during the election, and Trump wins.

Two weeks later, the Coronavirus is surging out of control. Trump continues peddling miracle cures, and his followers continue injecting themselves with bleach.

I think there is a moderate likelihood that we land on some variation of this outcome.

… or, Trump’s symptoms could be moderate. He recovers, and it really doesn’t sway anyone’s opinions one way or another. A few weeks later, he wins the election.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished. Experts see no point in remaining in a country that is openly hostile towards them. The United States experiences a massive “brain drain”, and soon it begins lagging behind the rest of the world. But, at least we still play real football in this country!

Ugh… well, I’ve certainly been thinking about leaving the country if Trump wins the election, at least.

… or, Trump’s symptoms could be moderate. He recovers, and it really doesn’t sway anyone’s opinions one way or another. A few weeks later, Biden wins the election. Trump concedes defeat, and there is a peaceful transfer of power in January.

HAHAHAHAHAA!!!! Yeah right.

I see almost zero chance of this happening.

… or, Trump’s symptoms could be moderate. He recovers, and it really doesn’t sway anyone’s opinions one way or another. A few weeks later, Biden wins the election. Trump declares foul play.

It goes to court. It goes to the senate. There is a second election. There is a third election. It doesn’t matter. No matter what, Trump declares foul play.

As usual, he’s vague on the details but insists that “it’s obvious to everybody!“.

Some conspiracy theories bubble to the top, and Trump latches onto them. “Yes!” he asserts. “That’s what I was saying all along! It was obvious to everybody!”

… I think this outcome is extremely likely.

… or, Trump’s symptoms could be moderate. He recovers, and it really doesn’t sway anyone’s opinions one way or another. A few weeks later, Biden wins the election. Trump declares war.

“This is your last chance to save your country from the deep-state operatives!” he pleads on Fox News. “I’ll offer a full presidential pardon to anyone who —”

The news feed cuts off, but it’s too late. Everybody believes they know what Fearless Leader was trying to tell them.

Gunfire erupts throughout the country. Every perceived threat to Democracy is to be extinguished.

Peaceful protests. Progressive senators. Everything.

… I’m not sure if widespread civil war is going to occur. But, I think it’s very likely that there will be several “incidents” throughout the country.

Well, I think that’s enough speculating for one night. It will be interesting to return to this post in a few months and see if any of these outcomes actually became a reality.